Broken Together

Coming off my last blog all about fantasy - and today being Valentine's Day - I thought this might be a good time to talk about marriage as an empty nester.  

Now don't roll your eyes and turn me off! This isn't a lesson on good marriages or a typical love story - this is a perspective that I have just heard about and realized after all these years it's the only perspective!  Here's my story...

In the beginning there was a handsome boy and an adorable fair haired girl.   They were skinny, and shy, and their friends decided they should hook up...

So they did...but they weren't ready so they broke up...



Then, years later, they decided on their own that they would try again...this time they fell in love...and they were together for 6 blissful years...

Then they got married.  The first year of marriage was horrible - how could two people know so little about each other after dating for 6 years?  Marriage was so permanent.  Their mindset changed. 

But they stuck it out - it took mental and emotional work which brought great blessing - and the second year was much better.  Even comfortable.  And still pretty blissful.  And it was good. 

As time rolled on they had many ups and downs.  And they learned a lot about each other.  They cared for each other - and they hurt each other.  They had many loving moments - and many arguments.  They said nice things to each other - and they said mean things to each other.  They still learned much about each other as sharing a life revealed the deepest assets and the deepest flaws that each possessed.  Living day in and day out took even more difficult mental and emotional work - which brought amazing and wonderful blessings, and it was good.    


As they became more comfortable they would sometimes become careless about their relationship though - taking for granted that each would always be there for the other no matter what...then they had children.  They looked forward to the bliss of little ones.  

The children changed things all together.  It was a good thing they stayed strong and kept the marriage going - because this bliss revealed even more sides of each other that they were not aware of.  Some lovely - some awful.  So awful in fact that it was sometimes difficult to stay with it.  But we made a promise to each other right?  

Now, there came a time after many seasons, many heartbreaks, many hurtful and exhausting moments, some within the marriage and some without - there came a time when they both realized that some things can't be fixed.  Accepting those things took difficult mental and emotional work - and that's the only way they reached a happily ever after.  

Then they realized that they could be together, that they could still go places without each other and still be confident in their commitment to one another (that's important too), they could look at each other and know the journey they have traveled together was hard, but so so worth it.  They have built a life together.  And though they walked through some ugly things, they did it together, and they survived - together- and now this life they have built is not perfect, but perfect  for them.  


I heard this song by Casting Crowns the other day called "Broken Together".  I almost stopped the car and screamed - "that's us!"  

This song talks about how to get your happily ever after.  Some things are part of us forever - scars that never completely close - faults that will always be a part of us.  So why can't we just be broken together?  We are who we are, for better or for worse.  

What do you think about when you look at me
I know were not the fairytale you dreamed wed be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, weve drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night

Its going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and Ill bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together

How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
Im praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we wont give up the fight

God will help our broken hearts align.  Broken together.