Silly Hair Blog

Hair.  I hate messing with my hair.  And as I get older, it gets more difficult to ignore it.  

What's that angelic light illuminating my hair - a halo right?

So I was looking through some of my pictures the other day and realized I have been living a terrible lie.  I have always said I hate messing with hair - so you tell me, am I living a lie, or am I just in denial? 

Here is some evidence...

1. When I was in high school I went to a trade school for two years for cosmetology  (in my defense I never got my license)

2. In the 80's I went from Olivia Newton John straight into poodle (I can also attest that the poodle look turned into a very cute Afghan Puppy look)

3. It was all down hill from there - I'm not sure what you see here but let me label them for you...

Whispy and carefree

Short and sassy

Apparently I was gangster once

I don't even know, a terrible attempt at curling?

There are like four different colors in my hair here, fall style? 

Very blonde and apparently I needed to prove that blondes are smarter than they look, or are they? 

I guess this would be my steampunk look,
 what does that even mean?

So, as I look at these, and these are just a few, I realize that I am CONSTANTLY messing with my hair.  But I hate it - I really do.  So there must be some underlying reason why I am in denial.  And why do I think this is something to blog about?  

Well, as you get older, your hair changes - I don't like that.  It's not as vibrant, or flexible, or shiny or thick.  I'm realizing that when I was a bit younger I didn't have to mess with my hair, it just did it's thing - and it was easy. 

Now, not so much - so the fact that hair is becoming difficult is very annoying to me.  I mean there are really only two choices in my empty nesting stage of life...

braids...

or this!

I say these are my two choices because as of right now I refuse to go down some of these roads...

- being an old lady with short curly hair 

- acquiescing to the "proper" length, style and color for a "woman my age"

- trying to look like a teenager when my own teenagers are women now

-going gray

-caring what other people think about my hair (as if they really did...lol)

and finally - caring at all about the fact that I seem totally obsessed with my hair -  I'm not - am I?  

I think I might be a bit of an oxymoron in this writing - but after a couple weeks of crazy I'm feeling kind of  like..."let's write about something that doesn't matter one little bit about anything"

It doesn't matter right???  

Emergency Road Trip

Well this has been an interesting week.  I had my first emergency road trip as an almost Empty Nester.  Talk about upsetting my OCD way of life!







Of course I emphasize "almost".  Things are a bit more complicated when you are an "almost" empty nester.

First, I get a phone call Monday morning at work that my youngest daughter (Laice) has been rushed to the ER - in Pennsylvania!  I will spare you the gory details, but it didn't sound pretty...





Soooo.... I worked for most of the day until finally Laice was admitted to the hospital.  Ok, now things are getting a little more intense.  So....to go or not to go.  Ahh, she's an adult right?  Her sister is with her.  Things will be ok..... SURGERY?!!!   Sick gall bladder and worse than that - a tear in her esophagus that was bleeding!

THEN THIS HAPPENED!

Ok, so if you know me at all, I rarely make rash decisions, it takes me at least three days to pack to go anywhere for any amount of time, and I am not at all spontaneous...

Well, I left work with no word as to when I would return...(thank you awesome boss) I then had to make arrangements for my teenage niece, then I packed in about 5 minutes and hit the road - MY BABY GIRL WAS IN THE HOSPITAL FACING SURGERY AND I WASN'T THERE!!!

Then, my beautiful sister called me and told me to pick her up in Syracuse - she was coming with me - yay sister!  

So here's a pictorial summary of my race to be by my girl's side...

The Reading, PA gigantic-est hospital I've ever seen in my life - that's my sister Patti and my oldest daughter, Paige walking toward the building...

Our own private family "resting room".  You heard me right - a personal "resting room".  How stinkin cool is that?  (Aunt Kelli, Aunt Patti and Paige) - get your feet off the table girls!

Laice, waiting to see what they are going to do to her...

Laice's arms were covered with bruises and gauze because they couldn't get the needles in..the first ten times!...

The yummiest restaurant for lunch EVER!  Gouda Cheese - you rock!

My baby girl post surgery - awwww, poor baby..

And finally...Out to get some air a few days after surgery... who ever thought someone could be so happy riding in a Walmart cruiser!  That coupled with a couple of Percocet made for a nice smile...

Of course that smile didn't last long - kind of rough after she got back home - 

But she's on the up and leaving her to come home today was one of the hardest things ever!  

I have to give accolades to my oldest, Paige.  She thought quick, made her sister go to the ER, witnessed lots of terrible things that I didn't get there for, and stayed strong the whole time.  Thank you Paigey for being the best big sister ever.

I left at 7:00am to beat the "snow" that was supposed to come this afternoon.  Got to Watertown just in time!  

Now, to get back into my structured, systematic lifestyle.  And though my brain is here, half my heart is in PA where my girls will continue to experience life on their own.....(sigh) 

  

Broken Together

Coming off my last blog all about fantasy - and today being Valentine's Day - I thought this might be a good time to talk about marriage as an empty nester.  

Now don't roll your eyes and turn me off! This isn't a lesson on good marriages or a typical love story - this is a perspective that I have just heard about and realized after all these years it's the only perspective!  Here's my story...

In the beginning there was a handsome boy and an adorable fair haired girl.   They were skinny, and shy, and their friends decided they should hook up...

So they did...but they weren't ready so they broke up...



Then, years later, they decided on their own that they would try again...this time they fell in love...and they were together for 6 blissful years...

Then they got married.  The first year of marriage was horrible - how could two people know so little about each other after dating for 6 years?  Marriage was so permanent.  Their mindset changed. 

But they stuck it out - it took mental and emotional work which brought great blessing - and the second year was much better.  Even comfortable.  And still pretty blissful.  And it was good. 

As time rolled on they had many ups and downs.  And they learned a lot about each other.  They cared for each other - and they hurt each other.  They had many loving moments - and many arguments.  They said nice things to each other - and they said mean things to each other.  They still learned much about each other as sharing a life revealed the deepest assets and the deepest flaws that each possessed.  Living day in and day out took even more difficult mental and emotional work - which brought amazing and wonderful blessings, and it was good.    


As they became more comfortable they would sometimes become careless about their relationship though - taking for granted that each would always be there for the other no matter what...then they had children.  They looked forward to the bliss of little ones.  

The children changed things all together.  It was a good thing they stayed strong and kept the marriage going - because this bliss revealed even more sides of each other that they were not aware of.  Some lovely - some awful.  So awful in fact that it was sometimes difficult to stay with it.  But we made a promise to each other right?  

Now, there came a time after many seasons, many heartbreaks, many hurtful and exhausting moments, some within the marriage and some without - there came a time when they both realized that some things can't be fixed.  Accepting those things took difficult mental and emotional work - and that's the only way they reached a happily ever after.  

Then they realized that they could be together, that they could still go places without each other and still be confident in their commitment to one another (that's important too), they could look at each other and know the journey they have traveled together was hard, but so so worth it.  They have built a life together.  And though they walked through some ugly things, they did it together, and they survived - together- and now this life they have built is not perfect, but perfect  for them.  


I heard this song by Casting Crowns the other day called "Broken Together".  I almost stopped the car and screamed - "that's us!"  

This song talks about how to get your happily ever after.  Some things are part of us forever - scars that never completely close - faults that will always be a part of us.  So why can't we just be broken together?  We are who we are, for better or for worse.  

What do you think about when you look at me
I know were not the fairytale you dreamed wed be
You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand
And we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times
Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light
Now on this hallowed ground, weve drawn the battle lines
Will we make it through the night

Its going to take much more than promises this time
Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and Ill bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together

How it must have been so lonely by my side
We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind
Im praying God will help our broken hearts align
And we wont give up the fight

God will help our broken hearts align.  Broken together.  

Everybody Needs a Little Fantasy

Empty nesting for me has sometimes become an inward journey of who I am and why I am the way I am.  I have begun to realize that I have always had the same core likes and dislikes.  Although we do change, some things just don't.   What I'm really trying to say is that I wish we could realize our core selves earlier in life.  

For instance, I have always loved to read.  Especially fantasy.  When I was small I always leaned toward the epic, historical, medieval kind of fantasy.  And unlike a typical little girl, I wasn't always drawn to the king or the queen or the prince or the princess.  No, I was always amazed by the trolls and the fairies and the creatures - be them good or evil.  The weirder they were, the better I liked it.  I have always been drawn to the darker side of things.  I sometimes like stories with a little dark in them - maybe it's because the creatures and the landscape are so interesting.  The landscape - how magnificent.  It can be anything - anything at all.  

I know many people, most of my friends and family in fact, who prefer realism.  It has to seem real - like real life situations - something relate-able to real life.  Maybe that's why there are so many reality tv shows, although I do notice more and more fantasy films coming out.  Well, for me - I get enough real all day long.  If I'm going to curl up and get into a good movie or especially a book - take me away.  Take me away to a place that only fantasy can take me. 

Now, I am kind of picky about my fantasy.  I'm not a lover of science fiction.  I'm not really all that into superheroes.  And - dare I say it - I'm not a Dr. Who fan.  (ok, it's out there - don't be hatin').  In my defense, I'm going to get on Netflix and "give it a go" - again.

I mean BBC is one of my all time favorites.  I love British fantasy and especially the "Merlin" series. I definately prefer that to Dr. Who.  (tentative smile) 

I teach a teen girls Sunday School class and one of the questions I always ask them just to get to know them better is "if you could live in any decade, which one would it be?"  One of the girls wrote "well this one of course, otherwise I would be upsetting the time continuum".  Obviously, this girl is a fan of Dr. Who.    

We had a talk about fantasy vs. realism in my Writer's Class the other day.  I liked the point that we left on - really - all stories are fantasy in one way or another.  Even if they're true, they are either exaggerated or emphasized or twisted just enough to make them more interesting.  

The 1980's was a true renaissance period for fantasy flicks.  Check these out and let me know how many of them you have seen or read.  My favorites are

"The Dark Crystal" 1982 Jim Hensen/Frank Oz
The Gelflings had amazing hair...

  How can you not love those musical mystics? 

Obviously - "The Neverending Story"  1984 screenplay by Wolfgang Peterson originating from Michael Ende's 1979 novel.

Aww - come Falcor, come on boy - how adorable is he?  And he can fly!!  And he will give you a ride! 

"Legend" 1985 by Ridley Scott 
Tom Cruize starred in this darker side fantasy.  I wouldn't recommend this for younger viewers but it's an amazing fantasy flick.  Look!  A unicorn!  Who doesn't love a real-life unicorn?  

One of my all-time favorites and a classic among fantasy lovers "Labrynth"  1986 Jim Henson starring David Bowie.  David Bowie!  What empty nester doesn't love David Bowie!

"A Princess Bride" 1987 - Now some fantasy films are so good that they stretch the boundaries between fantasy and realism lovers.  This one is a classic of the classics.  If you haven't seen this movie, I'm not sure you are human...

"Willow" 1988 - It's interesting that this film by the infamous George Lucas ended up as a rather obscure fantasy film - one of the  first starring roles for Val Kilmer

Those are some of the best of the best in my opinion.  of course following decades had some good ones too -

Some of my favorites are: 

90's - Edward Scissorhands, Harry Potter, Jumanji, and...

"Warriors of Virtue" - I don't usually love Chinese American films, but this one was exceptional directed by Ronny Yu

Then come the 2000's which have found themselves with new fantasy and remodeling or reissuing old ones...Here are some of my favs - 



Lord of the Rings (J.R. Tolkein original writing 1937, revised 1949, and the huge epic films in the 2000's)

The Hobbit (J.R. Tolkien 1937 - and obviously the new films still promising epic fantasy viewing)

Pans Labrynth (an Italian film 2006 by Gullermo del Toro - now this is an interesting film mixing the reality of the Holocaust with some very dark fantasy - definately a film for the adult with a strong stomach)

Phoebe in Wonderland (this is a 2008 independent film by director Daniel Barnz and is a tough find - but what a great film - mixing the reality of schizophrenia and fantasy - one of my favorites for sure - worth the watch if you can find it)



And FINALLY - I know this blog is ridiculously long - I could go on - this is just a touch of what I love about fantasy - and let it be known - the best way to indulge is through the books - they are so much better than the films... so...

so FINALLY - My favorite read of all time in the darker side of the fantasy world is "The Historian".  it's not really a horror novel - but more like an historical fantastical eerie tale  - 

So are you a reader?  Let me know what you like!  Oh - and I have to say one thing -  I do disagree with the ending of one of the above stories -  "Labrynth" in the end, the girl is brought to reality and realizes she is too old to live in a fantasy world so she throws out everything that has to do with fantasy - her toys, her collections, her books, her dolls, her costumes - everything.  WHAAAAT?!!!!  

 While I realize we can't function in the world of fantasy - I think we all need to go there once in a while.  No matter how old you are!  C'mon Mr. Hensen - we all know this would never be the road you would have taken - way to crush a daydream!  

In fact if you want to give fantasy a try - a good start would be with a brand new book just put on Amazon written by my friend Scott Keen

"Scar of the Downers"
You can pre-order it today!  It's a great place to start!